Monday, April 09, 2007
So late still blogging
It's time to do a review on myself. Am I studying to hard? or am I studying aimlessly. Sometimes I feel that I've been studying too hard and neglecting my health. This sem module no doubt it has increase it's difficulty level. Sometimes I just wish that I can improve very fast. but I feel that this won't happen. My time haven't been well organised and it's wasting away. I need to rethink my life and make it a healthy lifestyle. Time is running out.
People are working towards SYF while I'm working towards exam. As I read Shujuan's blog, I realised that I haven't been acknowledging the fact that ACJC band has helped me a lot in my life. Sometimes I question myself whether I'm a really weird guy in ACJC. I do admit that I behave crazily at times.
On the church side, I feel that my ministry is not to win souls. Winning souls should be done on a daily basis and not during the special seasons. I feel that rather then pulling your friends to church, it's best to ask them to push you to church. I can't mixed with my cell group well because all of them are too committed to church. Everything must talk about God, everything is spiritual but nothing happens in the natural. I'm sent by God to complete works in the natural. My ministry is not in church, but it is in the field of the world.
And again, whatever in the church does not appeals to me. People in the church likes pop music, likes pop dances, everything must be modernise. I'm not saying these things are bad, I'm just saying that I'm different. I'm different from the people of the church. I can't sing, I can play the guitar, I can't understand the bible even though I read thru many many times(I'm not a literature person). The least they could do is to accept me as I try to be more like God and finding my talents which may not appeal to the society.
In order to change the world, we got to mix with people of the wrong side or the dark side. People who scold vulgarities aren't that bad, but they are just people who is trying to exaggerate the language. Although I do not profane, I do understand how people actually don't mean what they say. Unlike city harvest, they stay away from people who speak indecent language and try to say "relax lah, don't scold so much vulgarities." The fact is that they know it's wrong, but we shouldn't force them to stop as it is a habit. We should let them go for a discipleship session and advice them.
One more thing, being a cell leader and going to bible school is not my forte. I do not want to become a cell leader because I do not want to commit myself so much time to church. I want to commit myself more to the outside world and help them. For not going bible school, it's because studying literature stuffs is not my forte. I'll fail if I get there and it'll be a laughing stock to the people. I do have different thinking from the city harvest members so I'll give different reasoning from the pastors and in the end, FAIL will come out of my result shit.
JunHan blogged at
2:49 am
